Ain’t It Easy
The easiest part about being a bishop is talking in front of a crowd. It only takes half an hour.
The hardest part about time travel is the blisters. It takes days to find relief.
The easiest part about being friends with Jesus is the back and forth. He’s a very social guy.
The hardest part about lying to a congregation is knowing that you’re just shoving a lollipop into their collective mouth.
The easiest part about accepting an offering plate every Sunday is that a close friend told you there’s nothing after you die.
I finished this song on April 11, 2011. You can hear some of my music at chrismackey.bandcamp.com.
Feel it down in your bones
Feel it coming out of your fingers
Feel it making words with your lips
Now you talk more like a singer
Feel it walking in your shoes
Feel it do away with your anger
Feel it recognizing itself
In the eyes of a stranger
I finished this song on July 15, 2011. You can hear some of my music at chrismackey.bandcamp.com.
My heart shines at the sun
Intermittent rays trying to find their way
My ribs are lined up one by one
They leave a small space allowing the light to return
If they were smart they would slide
Closer together in efforts to hide
The source of my love
The creator of my blood
Every year on the week of the Fourth of July, the Collierville Church of God rented a school bus and sent the youth group to the mountains. Jesse’s parents had just moved to town and joined the church in June. Seeing an opportunity to make new friends, they insisted their child go have fun for the week.
The Junior Highers and High Schoolers piled in, throwing their backpacks and pillows to the back rows, sitting by their crushes, singing camp songs. Jesse wore a khaki-all-over outfit, pockets lining the chest and the limbs. When no one would make room on a seat, the driver said, “Jesse, why don’t you come up here and sit by me? Help me keep an eye on the road.”
I Went the Hell Back There
As I waited in line with my handicapped brother, the traveling preacher waved his hand and thirty cripples hit the floor. “Jesus is in this place,” he explained.
The ride home was convincing my brother in his wheelchair that Jesus has perfect timing.
Jesus, knowing everything, should know that I have a fucking time machine. I set the dial to J-E-S-U-S.
I landed somewhere, started walking and found a crowd listening to a guy talk.
Everyone turned and stared. I walked straight up to him, smacked the cup out of his hand, pointed at his face and said, “Not cool, man.”
This is a story I wrote for a class during my first semester at Columbia College.
October 10, 2007
What is it with Halloween and pranks? You can count on reading a story in the paper every November 1st about some kids running around a town smashing pumpkins in everyone’s driveway. Throwing eggs at windows is another popular one. I never got into the prank scene. I think it was mostly not wanting to feel bad about it an hour later that kept me from it. I didn’t want shampoo poured in my yard to foam up at the next rain so I didn’t want to make anyone else experience that either.
The thing is that other people don’t think like that. Other teenagers want to ruin other peoples’ lives apparently. The brats in my neighborhood were no exception. We would wake up every November to a street full of trash and food.